Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
