oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
