I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
