yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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