Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
