I wannas sexs uuuuu
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I think your dad took our porno
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
