so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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