At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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