omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
The adults are the big ones right?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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