Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
