Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
