I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
