Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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