Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
