So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Randomize
