It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
