Where did you get a picture of my penis
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
