There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
