I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
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