both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
