I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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