Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
