I wish I could teleport
Buhtt sex?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I need a hoe opinion
go on
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
