Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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