im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
