you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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