Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
