I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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