Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
