Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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