So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Moan for me like Helen Keller
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
