so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize