i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Randomize