Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Randomize
