Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
