Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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