my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
