Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
