I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Randomize
