the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
