Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
