It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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