how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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