Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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