Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
