i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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