who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
where does the pee come out of this thing
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Randomize