Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
