No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
He passed out mid-signature
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Randomize
