so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Randomize