Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
