Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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