Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
