do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Randomize
