i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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