At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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