Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
