Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(213): View more from California

I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.

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(586): View more from Michigan

I need a shot of tequila, and quick death

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.

(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?

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(503): View more from Oregon

The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.

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(314): View more from Missouri

What did you even date her?

(214): View more from Texas

because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too

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(415): View more from California

Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.

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(856): View more from New Jersey

I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!

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(601): View more from Mississippi

Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.

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