Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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