Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
