...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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