Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
