dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
