dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
