ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
