no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Redeem this text for a blowjob
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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