Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
