you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
