On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
