they need to just BURY HIM!
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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