I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
