Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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