he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Randomize
