Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
We left the knife in your bed.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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